The choas planted in my heart did not save to my memory

The angst and the sadness it caused just played on repeat

For reasons I was told, but didn’t understand

For pain that was caused, why is it always a man?

I was trained to feel the pain, I was raised to taste the anger

I was forced to go between, and I had no fucking anchor

I clung to whatever felt like a love, a love that wouldn’t leave me

That forced my hand to make decisions, about things that I was too young to see

And now here I am, with all the understanding

And the world is sometimes caving in, but I know how to hover with no landing

Everything I didn’t know, shaped who I am today

Everything I didn’t know, and what I had to pay

(A work in progress)