Necklaces and bracelets and watches and make up

I used to look forward to decorating myself each day

Now it feels like a chore and barely even crosses my mind

Until

Until I see other people all put together nicely

They have taken care to present themselves to the world

I’m in a place in my brain where either

I am not worth the trouble

Or

The world is not worth the trouble

Of putting care into how I appear

Part of me wants to blame it on depression, but another part of me knows that I’ve just seen too much behind Oz’s curtain

And now the illusion is ruined

And you can see it in my naked face

And baggy clothes

And distended gut